You Might Be Right, But You're Still an Asshole

"Don't be an asshole."
~Nelson L. Erb

I can't tell you how many times I heard my father utter this phrase growing up. Whether I was harassing my younger sister or getting argumentative about wanting to stay out past curfew, it always ended with the same five words - "Hey, don't be an asshole." And with that, it was over.

Now that I'm older and wiser (no laughing!), I've realized just how true and how widely applicable that simple phrase can be. While I don't have kids myself, I do coach collegiate track and field, and I can't tell you how many times this phrase has come in handy. The look you get when you fire that phrase to a kid that's clearly being an asshole - and usually they know it but just aren't expecting to get called on it - is priceless. Generally something somewhat dumbfounded followed by a realization that they should stop what they're doing. Brilliant in its simplicity.

So why, you ask, am I moved to reflect on childhood discipline? Well, unless you've been under a rock for the past few weeks, there's no doubt you've seen some version of the University of Florida student getting forcibly removed from the Senator Kerry Q&A session. If you haven't, google a few words in that last sentence and you'll instantly have more video than you know what to do with, but more on that later.

There's an interesting phenomenon occurring with younger people today. Myspace, youtube, facebook, and other social networks have opened up previously unheard of people and situations to the entire world via the internet. Previously private moments are now up for public display, and many embrace this faux-stardom. Whether its skateboarding, singing or just acting silly, cameras are everywhere and everything is open to everyone. George Orwell would be having a field day, but in this case we've made it easy on the government by using our own equipment. Its no surprise then, that there are different types of videos surfacing now, very similar to the one from the University of Florida.

A few weeks ago I stumbled on a different online video, this one shot from a camera mounted on the dashboard of a car - kind of like those police videos we see on COPS. However, this camera wasn't mounted on a police car, but rather on the dashboard of a car owned by 20 year old kid from St. Louis. He had previously gotten a ticket he felt he didn't deserve, but had no proof that he was in the right. This way, he figured, he would have all the evidence he needed if it ever happened again. And did it ever.

Not long after the debut of the dashboard camera, his video caught a police officer threatening to arrest him on "made up charges". The video clearly showed a cop saying he would make something up to arrest him for and take him to jail. Initially it sounds like the typical, Napoleon complexed cop with a chip on his shoulder looking to ruin some young kids night for no reason. Good for the kid for having the video.

But something told me there was more to the story that wasn't being shown, so I googled the camera man's name (its Brett Darrow, if you're curious) and found some very interesting stuff. Not only was there a lot more to the original video of the threatening cop indicating Brett was pushing the officer's buttons to get a reaction, but there were several more videos - all showing him being "unjustly" harassed by the police.

Now maybe I'm just naive, but I've been in my fair share of traffic stops (way to many in my 31 years, I've got the insurance premiums to prove it), and never once has an officer gone out of his way to give me a hard time. Never once have I been threatened with jail time for simply speeding or not wearing a seat belt. I've never even been asked to step out of the car. But here's a 20 year old kid who's almost gone to jail every time he's ever been pulled over. Strange, until you realize one thing. Every time he's been approached by a cop, he's acted like an asshole.

Instead of just answering yes sir/no sir, he'll barrage the officer with questions, argue his rights, and refuse to cooperate. While he technically isn't doing anything illegal, he is doing everything he can to get a reaction from the police. When he does, he has it all on tape and is standing by with a lawsuit. While the police might not be doing the right thing by giving him a hard time, neither is he by acting like an idiot. You get what you give.

It reminds me of my 6 and 4 year old cousins whenever things get too boring for them. Inevitably, one of them will take a toy they want nothing to do with except that the other one was playing with it, wait for a negative reaction (usually a smack in the face), then go crying to mommy and daddy. Did they want to toy? No. Did the smack even hurt? No. But there is just something satisfying about getting attention by causing someone else misery when you're five years old. Or if you're Brett Darrow, I suppose.

It was a similar thing that happned on the campus of the University of Florida during the Kerry speach. Here is a kid who clearly has an agenda, and was being obnoxious in his line of questioning. He was asked to leave, but didn't. When he didn't leave, police stepped in and removed him. Rather than say to himself, "okay, there's six cops, maybe I should just go easy and save myself some hassle" he resisted arrest and shouted for people to get it all on video, presumably so that he'd get even more attention after the altercation. He then got thrown to the ground and tased. Later he would be quoted as being paranoid about a government conspiracy against him. Now I've never met this kid, but I'll be he's not just acting like an asshole, my guess is that he's the real deal.

Maybe most intersting to me are the people that are so concerned with their rights, privacy, and the government's involvement in their lives are the very same people putting their lives on display for public viewing. My message to them? You can't have it both ways, and you've got to be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it.

Oh, and don't be an asshole.